Metaphysical Marketing Query

Waiting for a desperation afternoon latte at the bakery today, I perused the little stacks of flyers & business cards arrayed on the shelf above The Stranger, and came away with a question: if I gave this person money, what do you suppose I would be buying?


Glancing at the graphic, my first thought was: yoga. But no -- yoga classes couldn't really be characterized as apparel, not even metaphorically. Lauren suggested that they might have developed some sort of metaphysical veil that you could drape over the problematic parts of your personality. Or perhaps they're selling mystical-wool cardigans that warm your heart in this cold, cruel world. Or hats -- you know you lose 90% of your euphoria through your head, right? A diaphanous scarf that brings out the green in your Inner Eye? Boots for kicking symbolic ass?

Don't peek; you'll only be disappointed. Not in the product -- which seems perfectly fine -- but in the gap between the silly possibilities and the earnest reality.