Physics 101

Lesson #15: Charles’s Law does indeed apply to an unopened bottle of bourbon left in a hot car on a sunny day.

The Lab: When I got back to my car after my afternoon meeting, late to pick up Simon at Tiffy’s, juggling two tomato plants and a huge vase of flowers, I discovered that my brand-new bottle of Knob Creek had exploded all over the stack of library books on the front seat. (Question for the true geeks out there: Didn’t the pressure of the air in the car increase too? I suppose it did… but not enough to keep the fracking cork on the Knob Creek.) This would have been tragic enough if the bottle hadn’t been purchased that afternoon as a present (along with the flowers) for Orca’s Volunteer Coordinator, the incredible Deb Koon, who was to be feted at the PTA meeting that night.

Late as I was, there really wasn’t anything to be done beyond tossing the soggy books in the back seat (hoping they wouldn’t reek too much when I went to turn them in), and roll down the windows so the whiskey fumes could dissipate.

The bottle was still half full, which was some consolation, but the cork had rolled down between the seats, and I wasn’t prepared to go there again. The tomatoes and flowers occupied the only level real estate in the front seat of the car – how to keep the remaining whiskey from sloshing out of the bottle?

With a sigh and a little prayer to the Cop Karma Gods, I climbed into the front seat, jammed the open bourbon bottle between my thighs, and pulled away from the curb, trailing a cloud of whiskey fumes out all four windows. Deb happens to live next door to Tiffy, and I briefly considered rolling up to her house, reeling up to her porch, and handing her the bottle right there & then... but I thought it might ruin the surprise we had planned for the evening meeting.

Fortunately, in addition to being the most amazing Volunteer Coordinator on the planet, Deb is the kind of woman who appreciates a good disaster story almost as much as a half bottle of bourbon. And I was able to present her with both!