Okay, Everybody Back to Work Now.

Question: If Justin Beiber has 1,621,403 Facebook fans at 9:37 am and gains an average of five fans every ten seconds, while "Can this Onion Ring get more fans than Justin Bieber?" starts the morning with 1,612,316 fans and gains 66 fans every ten seconds, what time will it be when the Onion Ring passes up the teeny-bopper pop star? Show your work.

By the time Simon and I had completed this calculation, the Onion Ring was up another 2400 fans. We giddily poured ourselves some cereal and settled in to await the historic moment. As the Onion Ring topped 1,620,000, its fans began to hyperventilate. "IT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN!" the group's creator bawled across cyberspace, "SOMEBODY FILM IT!" (And somebody did.)

I'm not sure why this little internet phenomenon had us so enthralled, why the inexorable upward ticking of the numbers was so hypnotic, or why Simon and I were so elated when it was all over -- three minutes earlier than we had predicted. ("One-Mississippi-Two-Mississippi" may not be the most reliable time-keeping method on earth when employed by an excited 9-year-old; it's also possible the Onion Ring gained some acceleration toward the end there.)

It certainly wasn't about any animosity for Mr. Beiber on my part. I had heard of him, but only just -- he hasn't done me any harm, I'm sure. And as someone who once wheedled her parents into buying her a Sean Cassidy record, I am in no position to cast stones at anybody else's underage heart-throb.

Part of the thrill may have been the novelty of riding the crest of an internet moment (however minor) instead of having to be filled in by my eye-rolling progeny after the fact. Like the time Josie had to walk me backward from the climactic scene in the long-awaited wedding episode of "The Office" -- which references the viral YouTube video wherein a solemn wedding procession suddenly turns into an exuberant dance down the aisle -- which features "Forever," a sweet little pop song by Chris Brown that has since become somewhat problematic on account of his arrest for beating up his then-girlfriend Rihanna, who recently put out an album about breaking up with him -- which is why Jill & Kevin's wedding video now includes instructions about how to donate to a domestic violence prevention program. Got it? (One of the things I find amazing about popular culture these days is its convoluted combination of corporate and do-it-yourself media, which can both feed and feed off real moments in people's real lives -- horrible ones like Rihanna's black eye, of course, but also lovely ones like Kevin somersaulting down the aisle on his wedding day with that classic groom's look of terrified joy on his face. Did he have any idea that 42 million people would see him do this? That Steve Carell would imitate him? "Look what I can do with my feet!" indeed.)

I think mostly I was intrigued by the delicious randomness of the Onion Ring's ambition -- so beautifully suited to the social networking venue. When Toby Brittan's brainchild first popped up on my News Feed three days ago, I chuckled and clicked "Become a Fan" without much thought. At that point the Onion Ring had about 300,000 fans, and Justin Beiber's million-plus lead looked pretty comfortable. But it turns out you should never underestimate the cumulative effect of many small, thoughtless actions -- climate change, anyone? -- or the power of a silly, slightly snarky idea on Facebook. The snarkiness may even be optional: Yes we can rack up 1,000,000 Strong for a Carrot Cake Shaped Like Hegel!

Emboldened by the thrill of victory, the Onion Ring has selected Miley Cyrus as its next target. I think this is a mistake, to be honest. Oh, I'm pretty sure the Onion Ring can catch up to Miss Cyrus (1,931,411 fans and hardly budging). And maybe the copycat Pickle will get more fans than Twilight, though I kind of doubt it. But I suspect that most of the seven people per second who sat in front of their laptops chuckling as they clicked "Become a Fan" weren't any more committed to the public humiliation of juvenile pop stars than I am. No, I think for us it was more about seeing if this ridiculous thing could be done. Now that we know the answer -- and have documented it on YouTube for all eternity -- maybe it's time to move on.