Warning: Citizen Kane Spoiler

So the other day Simon came into the bedroom and wanted to know why Robosapien does this when you turn him off:



This led to a quick YouTube search for Citizen Kane footage. We clicked through a rather alarming number of parodies before finding what we were looking for. "Ah, here we go. See, Simon?"



Well, this may well be a classic masterpiece of film noir and all that, but had you witnessed the growing look of bewilderment and terror on Simon's face as he watched it unfold, you would have to admit it didn't provide anything you could remotely call an explanation of his robot toy's bizarre behavior. On the contrary, it initiated a new and increasingly anxious barrage of questions. Even after we abandoned our parental goal of preserving the movie's central mystery, and dug up the final scene where all is revealed, they kept coming fast & furious. Why did that guy say "Rosebud"? Why did he say it like that? Why did the camera come up all close to his mouth? Why is there all that creepy music? Why did he drop the snowglobe? Why did they have all those chain link fences? (Like mother, like son, it seems.) Why did they burn the sled? What's that bubbly stuff dripping away from the letters? Why did you show me that scary movie right before bedtime? (Why indeed?) Wait, why did he say "Rosebud" again? We did our best to explain the yearning of a lonely, powerful old man for his lost childhood, but it's a tough concept to grasp when you've just turned eight.

A little more research has revealed that Simon's original question -- why Robosapien says "Rosebud" -- has been addressed by the inventor. "Just before Robosapien dies," says Mark Tilden, "he has a dream of another toy." Gosh, maybe we could have just left it at that.